I never thought of myself as a bully. How could someone â€“ me! â€“ be a kind, caring person and still be such a bully? It was a real wake-up call when I stopped and really listened to how I talked. Here are some examples:
I said: That was a stupid way to go!
(Instead of: It would have been better if you had gone the other way. Oh well, next time!)
I said: Youâ€™re really getting fat!
(Instead of: The extra weight on you isnâ€™t healthy so great that you want to do something about it!)
I said: Youâ€™re awful at that! You should quit!
(Instead of: Youâ€™re really improving! Keep it up!)
I said: That was such such a dumb thing to say!
(Instead of: You could have phrased that better.)
I said: Youâ€™re really looking old!
(Instead of: You look great for someone your age!)
What a bully I was!!
In case you havenâ€™t guessed it, the examples are actually things I sometimes said to myself â€“ real life examples of self-loathing. I honestly thought I was a self-loving woman and came to understand that I had spent decades speaking like this â€“ unconsciously! â€“ to myself. It was a great wake-up call. With the awareness, I could now pay attention to that inner voice and practice modifying that internal language. I could be as compassionate and loving to myself as I am to others. This is Freedom in action!
So donâ€™t YOU be a bully!!