I never thought of myself as a bully. How could someone – me! – be a kind, caring person and still be such a bully? It was a real wake-up call when I stopped and really listened to how I talked. Here are some examples:

I said: That was a stupid way to go!
(Instead of: It would have been better if you had gone the other way. Oh well, next time!)

I said: You’re really getting fat!
(Instead of: The extra weight on you isn’t healthy so great that you want to do something about it!)

I said: You’re awful at that! You should quit!
(Instead of: You’re really improving! Keep it up!)

I said: That was such such a dumb thing to say!
(Instead of: You could have phrased that better.)

I said: You’re really looking old!
(Instead of: You look great for someone your age!)

What a bully I was!!

In case you haven’t guessed it, the examples are actually things I sometimes said to myself – real life examples of self-loathing. I honestly thought I was a self-loving woman and came to understand that I had spent decades speaking like this – unconsciously! – to myself. It was a great wake-up call. With the awareness, I could now pay attention to that inner voice and practice modifying that internal language. I could be as compassionate and loving to myself as I am to others. This is Freedom in action!

So don’t YOU be a bully!!